I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
