i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We have started to decorate penises.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
