just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
