all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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