do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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