We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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