Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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