i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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