let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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