we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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