oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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