I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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