Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No subtext here. People are naked.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm both gender and math confused
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize