She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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