That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
