Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am one with the molecules
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
