Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize