So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
