First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
