The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
