he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
