im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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