We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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