How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize