Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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