If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
