I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
