he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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