He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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