Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
