Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
