I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
