420 ftw
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
