im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize