i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
