That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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