Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
