Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
