it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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