Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
