Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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