This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Vodka?
Forever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
