I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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