Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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