I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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