i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
