All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
