Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
