He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
