Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
