The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
