just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
