I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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