Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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