question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
