I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
