apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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