if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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