I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
