Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I came so hard my ears popped.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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