I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
