they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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