6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
